What Do You Talk about When Going through a Divorce?

Divorce leaves you with a fountain of emotions and a mountain of decisions. Sometimes, talking feels confusing because of the fear of getting things worse. But communication is essential during this time to complete the process smoothly. So, our guide will instruct you who to talk to, how to talk, and what to talk about!

Is it Needed to Talk to Anyone During Divorce?

Absolutely yes! You are breaking a relationship made with so many efforts. So you cannot just make decisions with a cold mind. Talking helps you process emotions, gain perspectives, and gather crucial information. So, you must become socially active to stay strong and focused.

Who Can You Talk to During a Divorce, and What Do You Talk?

Your support network should be a mix of people who can offer three types of guidance:

  • Emotional support, 
  • Practical advice
  • Legal guidance. 

Statistics from Calgary divorce lawyers and other mental development foundations revealed that you cannot trust and share with everyone about your divorce. Different people show different reactions after hearing you will become single. Therefore, we have listed down what to talk about in the best way possible:

Talking with Your Spouse/Partner

If you have made decisions, let’s become frank about it. Sit before your partner and discuss finances, asset division, living arrangements, and future communication regarding children (if applicable). Be clear and avoid any accusations later.

Talking with Lawyers

Lawyers are important for confirming the legal demand of divorce. They become your best friends to save you from missing spousal support, children’s custody, and asset divisions. So, discuss your desired outcome and custody arrangements transparently with a lawyer.

Talking with Children (Age-Appropriate)

Let your children know you love them and everything is happening for their better life. Do not influence children against the other spouse, even though you no longer have a good relationship. You must become an example of a good parent to win your rights in the court.

Talking with Trusted Friends and Family

Emotional Support: Talk about your feelings, vent your frustrations, and seek reassurance. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.

Practical Help: Ask for help with errands, childcare, or emotional support groups. Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks.

Talking with Neighbours

You might address the situation with close neighbours, but keep it brief and respectful. Often, neighbours spread rumours about your situation, which becomes heartbreaking to the other spouse. So, carefully choose whom to talk to.

Talking with Colleagues

Your colleagues may deserve to know your condition, but it is better to keep personal things apart from pothers. Sometimes, the boss becomes worried of your performance during divorce. It creates an insecurity inside him. Also, bad colleagues may make fun of or take chances with flirty talk.

Talking with Police

Sometimes, the spouses are involved in physical assault. If any safety concerns or abuse are involved, contact the police immediately. 

What Not to Talk About During Divorce?

  • Never try bad-mouthing your spouse. This creates negativity and makes co-parenting harder. This irresponsible action will cause you to lose property or custody.
  • Sharing sensitive details is a red flag: Keep legal discussions and financial details between yourself, your lawyer, and possibly a financial advisor.

How to Talk to Spouse about Divorce?

Divorce is a difficult conversation, but approaching it with honesty and respect can make a difference. It is suggested to keep the one calm with extremely polite bahavior. So, follow the rules:

  • Choose a private, calm moment when you can both focus.
  • Express your feelings and needs without placing blame. For example, “I feel unhappy in our marriage, and I think we need to talk about our options.”
  • Discussing past hurts might escalate things.
  • Your spouse might be surprised, angry, or sad. Validate their feelings and listen without interrupting.
  • Briefly discuss logistics like finances and living arrangements, but avoid getting into specifics.
  • Consider couples therapy or a mediator to smoothen the conversation.

Talking or Not Talking, How to Prepare for Divorce?

When you are determined for a divorce, just get ready to collect the information you need. Your lawyer can present your case easily if you give all the details. So do not forget to list down these things:

  • Individual info, names, security numbers, contacts, and usernames for online accounts.
  • Marital info, kid names, age, etc.
  • Personal properties like houses, vehicles, machinery, pets and other items
  • Legal documents like wills, power of lawyer, health care insurance
  • Financial infos like banks, credit cards, retirement accounts, etc.

In addition, you must prepare a backup living place for any uncertain incident. 

Final Words

Talking openly with the right people will motivate you during this challenging time. But talking with the wrong people will cause serious trouble. So, whenever you talk, make that a simple and honest conversation. And, of course, differentiate between good and bad buddies. 

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